A note on this post:
I write the below as someone who is not an essential worker. Though sheltering in place can be trying, it pales in comparison to the sacrifices our health care workers, cleaning staff, grocery store employees and other essential personnel are making throughout the course of the Coronavirus.
While my chief struggle is keeping the family grounded and healthy during uncertain times, essential workers are keeping society intact and actively working to prevent loss of life, including the loss of their own lives.
I use humor in the post as - for me - humor fosters resilience during hard times. This does not mean I find the current pandemic humorous in any way.
May we all be safe and find paths that best support us during these challenging times.
Folks, we have some real constraints these days, right?
So many of us are stuck in the house. (Some of us with with 3 children hell-bent on destroying said house).
But whenever I start thinking bitter thoughts (spoken in my best, internal “complainy voice”) I just remind myself,
“At least we have toilet paper.”
But can I admit that, despite its profound disruption, Coronavirus is helping me overcome a challenge I’ve struggled with for years?
I am learning to separate the “Can’t Dos” from the “Can Dos.”
In general, I want to do ALL the things ALL the time.
And though one might think that, with age and maturity, I had gotten better at setting boundaries…
…One would be wrong.
So though I may no longer be maniacally (aka self-importantly) pulling all-nighters at my corporate job, I still have this insidious drive to grow ALL the flowers.
And ALL the vegetables.
And do ALL the things with my kids.
At which point my Mom, observing my whirlwind of busyness, will casually mention,
“So much of life is about deciding what we can’t do.”
Now, being highly practiced in the delicate art of Mennonite Passive Aggression, Mom does not say this TO me. She just says it as though innocently observing one of life’s great truths.
But I (who am equally practiced in interpreting this Anabaptist Dark Art) know EXACTLY who she’s talking to.
So it’s with some amount of personal pride I say that - during Coronavirus - I have taken her message to heart and have a solid list of…
The Things I Can’t Do:
1) Leave the farm
Ok, it’s really the NY state governor who decided this, but we’re the one who have to stick to it. So I’m taking credit.
People, it’s bad out there.
Out of respect for those precious essential workers who are putting their lives on the line, please, please stay home.
2) Hide in the bathroom, in hopes your children will home-school themselves
Ok - true story. I tried this.
But quickly admitted defeat when I heard my children using their Harry Potter wands to beat each other about the head and neck.
3) Binge-watching anything.
Life lesson - this starts out great but after 3 hours your brain leaves the buidling.
(Noted exception: BBC's Gardener's World. Binge watching Gardener's World is actively encouraged . See below).
4) Facebook for more than 5 min/day.
Really.
Just don't.
5) Wearing pajamas longer than 3 consecutive days.
Like binge-watching, it devolves quickly.
So yeah - it’s a modest list.
But even so, these limited boundaries have cleared space for…
the things we CAN do:
1) Stalk my peonies.
Any day that’s not snowing (yes we still have that here) or raining, I’m in the fields marveling at the peonies, now peeking their heads through the ground,
The beautiful unfolding of emerging tree peony shoots
Coral Sunset (a favorite herbaceous peony) pushing up through the earth.
Its brightly colored shoots are one of my favorite signs of early spring. And it’s flowers are amongst the first wave of herbaceous blooms to grace our fields
2) Stalk any other plant showing signs of life
Other than our vegetable beds, I have a rather small personal garden.
Yet the kids and I are combing the garden, looking for emerging plants, cheering on the daffodils and daylilies as they bravely raise their heads into the still-cold spring. Or marveling at the chives , oregano, garlic and thyme that somehow manage to survive our extreme upstate NY winters
Lavender is tricky to grow in Zone 4 but, by last year, I had a plant large enough that it required division.
Imagine my joy that all three divisions made it through the winter and, with the slightly warming temps, are starting to green up!
Brave garlic, growing up through the remaining snow.
Moss - lush, green, beautiful. Any time of year.
3) No matter what I’m doing, taking in the birdsong.
They're back! The birds are back!
For those of you in warmer zones, this might not sound like a big deal.
But for us in the north, winter can have an eerie silence.
When the birds come back, it feels - and sounds - like divine magic.
4) Start seeds and then check them 20 times/day for germination
Who else is going crazy starting seeds???
Does being shut in mean you’re starting more seeds than usual?
What new things are you growing?
For us, we’re trying Napa Cabbage for the first time. And because we now have grow lights, I’ll be starting heirloom tomatoes here rather than buying the starts as I normally would.
We started this past week and over the next few days, we’ll continue making soil blocks and stuffing them with seeds.
Already, we’re obsessively hovering over them, looking for any sign of emerging life.
5) Get Piglets
Because pigs are infinitely entertaining.
Plus - since playdates are totally out of the question atm - they’re the BEST thing I’ve found to distract my kids for longer than 5 minutes.
The piglets have taken to my 2 daughters and are allowing both girls to pet and scratch them for extended periods of time
Yes, they’re pigs not sheep but they DO have wool. This is a cold-tolerant, heritage Hungarian breed that grows wool like a sheep’s!
6) Watch unlimited Gardener's World
Anyone else obsessed with this show?
Even my 9-year old loves it.
Seriously, if you’re a gardener of any kind, Gardener’s World will captivate you.
(It’s a BBC show so can be a difficult to find this side of the pond. I watch on HD Clump - they have the current as well as previous seasons!)
Yeah, I know, I know. My “Can Do” list is longer than my “Can’t Do” list.
Sigh.
But if success is “doing slightly better today than you did yesterday,” then let’s agree to call this success.
On a serious note, I wish all of you the very best mental and physical health during this time.
It’s my deepest wish that humor and our love for each other carries us through to the other side.